we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize