Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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