Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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