you have to choose: penises or morals?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
