Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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