what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
