I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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