Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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