Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
