I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He shit in the fireplace
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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