I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
