I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
