u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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