Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
