I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
bring money and cleavage
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
