What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
