i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
