i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
