Screwed.edu
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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