He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
