Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I take back everything I said about communal showers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize