I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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