Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
