so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Non-Jews are for practice
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
