haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
