i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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