She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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