i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
