ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize