one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
