Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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