Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
