i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Randomize
