Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You took a bar mat shot.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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