I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
