If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
