I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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