I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
