Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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