I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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