She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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