I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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