He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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