when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
