She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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