i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
