Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
