im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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