On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
