I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
