Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
