i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Come on in and take your pants off
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
