Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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