You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize