This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
