Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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