Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am one with the molecules
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
