I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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