I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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