Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
