yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
