I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
