my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
there's paper in my vomit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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