Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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