i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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