Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
