He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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