No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
