oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
