You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
