I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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